STOP BUYING SO MUCH STUFF
Every year around this time, I open up TikTok and find more and more videos like this where someone posts about the pressure they’re feeling around the holidays. No money in savings, stuck in some low paying job, can barely afford rent or gas … and yet, they’re obligated to buy presents for their friends and families.
Nobody wants to look poor. Nobody wants to look like the one family member who can’t spend more than they should on gifts that will likely end up broken, buried in a closet, or in a landfill all because they feel pressured to fit in.
And yet, here we are.
The act of gift giving is a learned behavior. Kids aren’t born expecting gifts. They aren’t programmed to expect dozens of gifts under the tree every year. It’s taught to them by parents who want to fit in and be accepted. They want to post photos of their trees on Facebook and Instagram so everyone knows they too can buy more gifts than anyone needs.
These behaviors are passed down to the kid, who has memories of dozens of gifts under the tree, just like in every holiday movie and cartoon and commercial. The goal, by the way, is for companies to take your hard earned money and line their balance sheets with record profits. Weird, right? You’d think soemone like myself who encourages people to invest and live below their means would be thrilled about rampant consumerism and materialism.
But I’m not. It actually really upsets me. Because instead of breaking with these bizarre traditions, we lean into them. We go broke. We go into DEBT to buy gifts that people don’t even really need.
This obligation to hand someone a present is frankly out of control. I used to feel so pressured into spending a lot on gifts because I knew people were spending a lot on me. And I didn’t want to be the one who showed up with one insignificant present while everyone else had five or ten expensive gifts, all for the sake of saying, look how much I spent! We equate spending with love. The more you spent, the more you love your significant other, right?
What if it’s not nice enough? What if it isn’t special enough? What if I look poor or cheap?
Big picture, I know this isn’t going to be some new trend that catches on: Not giving gifts for the holidays. But we can start small. Instead of eight throw away items for Chanukah, let’s just get a few practical gifts and one special gift for the kids. And for the adults? Really, c’mon. Less gifts. Less things. Less clutter. Less crap for your kids to worry about when you die. Less stuff in land fills. More money in rain day savings accounts.
That’s the real gift: Being able to pay for an emergency, which 56% of Americans cannot do. But something tells me they’re dropping big stacks around Christmas so they look rich.
Misplaced values have got to go. Start the trend early. Order Chinese food. Watch a movie. Make hot chocolate. Exchange as close to zero gifts as possible. And coordinate with friends and family so everyone is on the same page.
